my teacher asked me to write a profile essay and I wrote it about my aunt. The teacher said it was a good essay but I was missing my work citation and period violation. I am having a hard time understanding what she is asking for. because this was not a research essay. I posted the assignment and i posted the essay i wrote and the notes my teacher added. please help me
The assignment
The Profile
A Definition:
A profile is the story of one person, sometimes two, or even a group who are engaged in a
common endeavor.
A profile explores the background and character of a person, group or business, or other places.
Whether the focus is on a news angle or a single aspect of the subject’s personal or professional
life, a profile gives the reader a greater understanding of the subject through the lens of his or her
personal interests, career, and educational and family background.
Profiles require some personal interpretation or perspective, often because of a stake in
the topic.
Profiles typically provoke more thinking about ideas even beyond the “individual” at the
center of the profile.
Profiles develop the “breadth, depth, dimensionality, and contradictions” inherent in the
topic, notes Professor Steve Reid.
Profiles might emphasize the exotic, peculiar or bizarre, but they always get beyond the
surface, sometimes with emphasis on social, political, or moral implications implicit in
the topic.
In short, your readers could look up your topic on Wikipedia to get the basic facts, but they’ll
read your profile because of your personal interpretation of the topic.
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Write a profile of someone who works in your field of study or a field you are considering. That
means a nurse if you’re studying nursing, a teacher if you’re studying education, and so on. Your
profile should be focused on the person’s career – don’t try to write a whole biography in just
five pages. Tell the story of how this person got started in this career, what hardships they have
overcome, and what they have achieved.
OR
Write a profile of your workplace. Why do you love it or hate it? Narrow you topic to one feature
of your workplace such as what the place teaches you. For example, if I were to write about my
workplace, I would focus on one student and how he used MCC as a jumping off point to get
into the best Writing Program in the United States.
OR
Write a profile on a member of your family. For example, my 85-year-old mother was the first
woman in Management on the Western Division of the Union Pacific Railroad. My focus would
be on her work-life.
OR
Write a profile of a group you belong to or a hobby you participate in. For example, you may be
a recovering alcoholic who frequents Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. Or you may belong to
the Kansas City Kayak Club. Find a focus and develop that central idea.
The Interview:
Your main source for this paper must be an interview, which may be conducted in person, on the
phone, through email, or through any other method of communication.
The interview is an essential part of this paper. See “Interviewing” under “Field Research”
(Hacker368) and (444) for the Works Cited model.
Do NOT present a transcript of the interview. Do NOT say, “I interviewed a person and these
were her answers.” Instead, integrate the interview smoothly into your text, using a logical and
appropriate organization.
Summary of Tasks:
Write a four-to-five-page profile with a Works Cited page.
Use MLA form12 Point Times New Roman, one-inch margins, double spaced, header.
Interview your source. Quote effectively and correctly.
Find a focus and develop a central idea. Do not make the paper into a list.
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John Rains in “Crafting the Perfect Profile,” provides more helpful detail about how to get
beyond an obvious two-dimensional portrait of a person or place so his page is worth reading for
starting points for writing a profile.
Here is the link: https://www.writing-world.com/markets/print/rainsprofile.shtml.
The essay I wrote
Profile Essay
A woman of strong will, determination, and intelligence, Dr. Fidaa Almomani is a remarkable person who has accomplished much in her life. She is my aunt from my dad’s side, and her story is one that has inspired me and many others. She was the person who loved studying and learning in the family, and she had an interest in medical school from childhood. From studying physical therapy to becoming the dean of her university, Dr. Fidaa’s journey is one of hard work, dedication, and a passion for helping others.
Dr. Fidaa grew up in Jordan, where she discovered her love for physical therapy. Her father always encouraged her to study and achieve her dreams, and he was keen to provide her with her academic requirements. Things were difficult financially in the beginning. She lived in a village an hour away from her university, but she didn’t have a car at that time, so her only solution was to leave the house early in the morning and walk around 40 minutes to the nearest bus stop to take the bus that goes to her university. Her father was in the army, and he was receiving a decent income. She also has eleven siblings, so she had to rely on herself and get excellent grades at the university in order to get a scholarship. After completing her undergraduate degree, she was selected by her university to pursue her doctoral degree at the University of Kansas in the United States. At the time, this was a great opportunity for Dr. Fidaa, but it was also a challenging one. She had to leave her family and friends behind and travel to a foreign country to study in a language that was not her native one.
When she arrived here, she didn’t know anyone, and it was her first time traveling and leaving Jordan. Her challenge was to look for a house to live in and also to look for a job at the university so that she could collect her daily expenses. Despite the challenges, Dr. Fidaa embraced her new environment, and she got a part-time job at her university and quickly immersed herself in her studies. She was determined to succeed and make the most of the opportunities that had been given to her. She worked hard, put in long hours of studying and research, and developed a deep understanding of the field of physical therapy. Her GPA was high, and she was the best student in her field, as she never missed a homework assignment, and she was one of the students participating in the classes with her creative ideas. She also made many friends and built strong connections with her professors and colleagues. If she had an exam, she would go out with her friends to study together, and if she didn’t, she would go out with them to spend a fun time and explore her new environment. As the years passed, three of my uncles finished school in Jordan. Dr. Fidaa decided to apply for admission to a university in Kansas City and bring her brothers here to study. This demonstrates her commitment to helping her family and ensuring they have access to better opportunities in life. They came here and studied and graduated from the university. Now they have their own business, and they still live here. Then my three uncles helped me to come here to have better opportunities and get my degree.
After several years of hard work, Dr. Fidaa completed her doctoral degree and returned to Jordan. She was distinguished and got her degree with high grades. Her university was impressed with her accomplishments and offered her a position as a faculty member. Dr. Fidaa accepted the offer and began working to improve the physical therapy program at her university. She introduced new teaching methods, developed courses, and trained new faculty members. She also worked hard to develop partnerships with other universities and organizations, which helped to strengthen the physical therapy program and raise its profile in Jordan.
Dr. Fidaa’s hard work paid off, and she was eventually appointed as the dean of the physical therapy program. In this role, she continued to innovate and improve the program, and her leadership helped the program to become one of the most respected in the country. Dr. Fidaa also played a key role in developing new physical therapy programs at other universities in Jordan, which helped to increase access to quality healthcare for people across the country. She became a famous person in Jordan, and she was interviewed on the most famous TV channel in Jordan to talk about her success and how she accomplished it. Also, during the interview, she gave some advice to new university students on how they can manage their studies and achieve their goals.
Today, Dr. Fidaa is a respected leader in the field of physical therapy in Jordan, and her accomplishments have been recognized both nationally and internationally. She has been invited to speak at conferences worldwide and has received numerous awards for her work. But despite her many accomplishments, Dr. Fidaa remains humble and committed to helping others. She continues to work tirelessly to improve her university’s physical therapy program and support her colleagues and students.
As her nephew, I have had the privilege of watching Dr. Fidaa’s journey firsthand. From a young age, I was inspired by her passion for helping others and her unwavering commitment to excellence. Over the years, I have seen her overcome countless challenges and obstacles, and emerge stronger and more determined than ever before. Her resilience and perseverance in the face of adversity have taught me the importance of hard work, dedication, and a positive attitude, and have inspired me to pursue my own dreams with renewed energy and determination.
In conclusion, Dr. Fidaa’s journey is a testament to the power of hard work, dedication, and a passion for helping others. Her accomplishments are a source of inspiration to me and many others, and her story is a reminder that with perseverance and determination, anything is possible. I am proud to call her my aunt and am grateful for the example she has set for me and for others.